Radically Accepting Change
So this week I was thinking that we can broach the topic of change which can be an exciting or challenging process. With the chaos around us, this is a good time to learn how to approach change through radical acceptance.
Change can occur in all facets of life whether it is a new job, change in partners, relocating, a haircut, wardrobe, family members, getting married, retirement, finances, having children, etc. There are many ways we can discuss change but today let’s focus on people’s general reactions to change.
Many would say that they fear change and enjoy consistency, routines, and knowing what comes next. These are the people that find change difficult because they might feel that with change comes the loss of control whereby finding themselves being resistant to change. Since the future is unpredictable, one could feel “scared” or “disempowered” of the possible outcomes of the change. On the flip side, when things are going well for people, they might lack the motivation to change, as well. Even successful people need to work on changing certain situations and/or behaviors. It is easy for a successful person to plateau and stay stagnant. They too could benefit from changing some elements of their behaviors.
Behaviors are difficult to change because things that we have learned earlier on in life are sometimes the hardest things to change. I have worked with many individuals who vary in age who are trying to change certain behaviors. I have noted that the behaviors that have been learned in the earlier stages of life are the hardest to transform. However, even on the simplest level such as your favorite old article of clothing that has become out of style, does not fit, and has developed small holes has a way of lingering in the closet even though a replacement was bought because that special article of clothing becomes difficult to throw out. I am sure if you really think about it, you will come up with at least one person that you know who has lots of clutter in their office or home because it is difficult for them to throw or give things away.
Others, view change as an adventure. These are the people that enjoy the unfamiliarity that comes with change. They might look at change as a “new start” or “fresh beginning”. They want to move forward and make progress. Although change can be a positive or negative experience for people, it is inevitable that it will occur at least once in a lifetime. It is how we deal with change once it occurs that is most important. I believe that most people enjoy change because it is constantly according?. If you come across someone who appears resistant, it’s probably because they feel “vulnerable” and “powerless” in their current situation. In that situation, listen to them and let them feel heard. Have a discussion with them about why the change is necessary.
Time changes things, not doing things leaves things exactly where they were. With time, support, and work one can get through the obstacles that come with change. So the ultimate question is do I stay stagnant or do I do something to change my situation?
While meditating and/or pondering partaking on the journey of acquiring radical acceptance skills, visualize yourself resetting your mind and opening your thoughts to make shifts to how you approach situations, conflicts, defeat, obstacles, and challenges.
If you have time and enjoy practicing meditation below are some words to help evoke some more insight from within:
Receive, Listen, Thank, Understand, Be open, Greet, Slow down, Welcome, Sense, Allow, Pause, Embrace, Feel, Reflect, Acknowledge, Appreciate, Notice, Value, Empathize, Allow, Observation, Silence, Stillness, Steadiness, Gratefulness, Gratitude.
Journal writing is a great way to help process and reflect on your thoughts. It might be helpful to journal write about the above words and what resonates with you and what feels have been evoked from within.